The long awaited update

Hey guys, so sorry for the lack of updates. It's all a mixture of stress, assignments, lectures, lecturers, group meetings and of course not forgeting the most common confusion amongst everything else. Oh yea, the lack of nutrients have also done a number on my brain cells. Not a pretty sight to see me right now.

Really.

Trust me.

I'm such a wreck right now.

Basically I have nothing much to blog about these days. Kinda hurts to be thinking too much. I admit I've been drowning myself in alcohol and nicotine (yes people, I smoke. Big deal. Get over it!). Been having sleepless nights and tons of nightmares.

And sometimes I wonder if I know the reason why this is happening to me. I guess I do, but maybe I'm just suppressing it. Trying so hard to tell myself that this is not happening and that all of what I'm thinking is not real.

But I guess it's not easy to lie to yourself.

Then the only thing that came to my mind was that "How can you remember someone's face?"

When I think of a person, I seem to only remember the side view only. Why is this? Why can't I remember the full front view of this person? Eventhough I do see this person all the time. But I can only remember the side.

Then it hit me.

I am so used to observing people from afar that my brain automatically stores the side view images because it is what I see all the time...

The person I see and observe so much does not know of my existence. That's why I only have the side view.

Is this good or bad?

I can't decide.

I am now thinking... What must I do, in order to remember the front view of this person?

Because I'm tired of remembering just the side...

I am tired of being just on the side.

I want to be at the front.

I want to be everything... the only thing, this person sees...

But...

Dreams will be dreams.

A wish, is sometimes lost upon a star.