I've been doing some thinking... and I think she's right. I'm not ready for a relationship.
It's not like I'm not ready for commitment or that I can't see a future for a relationship... it's just that I'm seeing the wrong things.
I narrowed it down to 1 simple reason why she would say that I am not ready for a relationship. I guess that I am not mature enough.
I have to admit that she is mature and very independent. I really don't know if I was in her shoes, if I would survive. Though I think I was by her side all the time whenever she needed me, I guess she has managed to survive because of herself.
She is strong.
Stronger than me even.
After comparing all that I lack... I finally came to the conclusion that I am not ready. I need to see things in a different way. I am doing my best. I am TRYING... and giving it my ALL...
She said that I'm getting desperate. That's why I want to get into a relationship... But I do not see myself as desperate. If I was, I won't be waiting for her... I can always go for some other girl who is easier to get. But here I am.
So the point is this: I only want her.
For her to interpret my actions towards her as desperate is so wrong. Cause I think I'm trying to show her that I have fallen for her...